Tales of Thailand

Back to Bangkok

2006-11-21T05:57:22Z

I awoke early, or maybe it is that I never slept at all?! I looked in the mirror and saw two glassey eyes staring back at me, though it was as if they belonged to a different head, cause mine felt like it was detached from my body. Why is it that I always get sick at the end of my holidays? Probably because all of you want me to come home? No worries there, I do not plan on staying in Thailand, and welcome the thought of the cold wet pacific northwest. I returned to Bangkok, reluctantly. When I got here though, I didn't feel as overwhelmed as I did the first time. And Khaosan, was brillant and exciting. Seeing the diversity of the tourists, and all the thai market stalls, and cheap phad thai....it kinda felt like I was one step closer to home. I wasn't but a block from where I desided to stay when I ran into Kat. Kat, whom I had met in Ko Phangan! It was like see an old friend! We exchanged hugs, and committed to sharing as much of our last hours in Thailand as possible. We went and saw What Po, ran earrands, went shopping at the night market, and Siam Square, and Khaosan, and finally sat down to have a beer and her last Pad Thai. So there we sat, eating Phad Thai, being served by a lady boy, drinking our Singha, being harrassed by street vendors, and thinking...same same...but different. (the slogan of Thailand). Yes, it has indeed been a good holiday.
I leave today, which is a good thing. I have in my head composed two lists, which I plan on posting once I return home...where internet is already paid for (though the air conditioning feels good, and I haven't sweat for over an hour now). Off to the street market to pick up some last minute gifts and such, and soak up all that is thailand. AH, I look forward to seeing you all. I know I have said it before, but I must say it again. I love each and everyone of you. You all have enriched my life, and I hope you know how greatful I am, and how blessed I feel. Much love, see you soon

Back to Bangkok remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Railey Beach

2006-11-17T03:18:52Z

After taking a long tail boat from AuNang to Railey beach, vacation finally started to settle in. The beach here is breathtaking, and the place I stayed for 2 days was luxuery compared to the bungalows (think hot water, minibar, pool). I settled into a lounge chair by the pool and ordered a Lychee shake and papaya salad. By the time that my food arrived, it started to rain. Not the typical Thailand rain, where is comes and goes in a flash, but a constant rain like the pacific northwest (though MUCH warmer). I relocated myself to a tablet to finish my meal before it started to drowned. Since the rain didn't want to let up, I chose to join it, in the ocean. Ah, I can't even desribe how wonderful it was. Walking on the fine white sand beach, an intense dark sky, a deserted beach, ominous rock formations, and the water... The water was shockingly warm. So as I tread the remarkably warm water I felt the cool rain pattering on my face, and watched it gently tapping the oceans surface. The view was amazing. I was boyant, in disbelief of the beauty around me. There were little european boys running around in speedo's, and very young children bathing butt naked. Little fiddler crabs hard at work, doing what ever it is that they do. It was so beautiful, that I couldn't help but giggle to myself, though maybe out loud.
I finally dried off, and went for a cup of iced tea and time with my book at a covered cafe. I met a girl from England, named Jo, and two Canadians (travelling alone) Michael and Dave. So that nite we sat and watched the sunset, drank stupidly expensive (yet good) wine, then went over to the sunrise side of the beach for some dancing. Ah, it was grand! We got to the Gecko bar, and everyone was just sitting around, despite the fact that the DJ was really putting out the music. So I grabbed Jo by the hand and drug her to the dance floor. No sooner had she turned around (she was not about to be the first one out there), did everyone else jump out on the floor. The bartenders were even out there with us! Good stuff.
The next few days the mornings were bright and beautiful but by lunch it was dark and rainy. Which was fine, it suited me anyway. I was starting to feel a bit home sick, and cold sick too. All that fun finally caught up with me. The day I checked out of the Sand Sea Resort, one of the bellmen didn't want me to go. He said, no, stay one more night. I explained that I couldn't afford it. He nodded in understanding, then suggested that I should stay in AuNang. I hung out for as much of the day as I could. I enjoyed the pool, and all of the tourist commotion. The bellman came up to me again, Tara, you can stay. You can stay right here at the pool! (How did he know my name?) I laughed, and thanked him, yet politely declined. I left late in the afternoon to AuNang. Found a clean place with a hot shower, for about 1/8 of the price I was paying in Railey beach. I need to keep reminding myself that I am on vacation, and it is almost over!

Railey Beach remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Ko Samui

2006-11-12T05:10:57Z

So I left Ko panghan by ferry in the late morning. The sky was wicked and dark, and it was only a matter of WHEN it was gonna rain. Of course half way to Ko Samui the clouds opened up and dumped bucks of cool refreshing rain. When I arrived in Samui, the ground was covered in a good three inches of water, roads included (their goes my idea of hiring a motorbike). So I finally gave in and paid a taxi driver 100 baht to take me to Boa Phat (which is only the next beach away). He dropped me at a place that I had reserved for the following night...I took one look at it and walked out the door (no way was I staying there one night, let alone two). So I wandered "fisherman's village" which I think more accurately should be names Spa Central! The prices were astronomical! Beautiful places, but...I know I am on holiday, but speaking of holidays, I need money to buy gifts and such, so nope. After lugging my pack up and down the muddy road for an hour I finally gave into a taxi bike, and had him take me to Chaweng for 60 baht. He took me to a guesthouse, accross from the beach. Nothing fancy, but clean with hot water, and for 600 baht (well more then I have been paying, yet still much less than Boa Phat) it would do. I roamed the streets aimlessly. HEAPS of foreigners, therefore everything was twice the price of anywhere else in Thailand, it took me 10 minutes in the street to know I would be leaving Ko Samui the next day. For dinner I went around the corner and down the street from the main tourist strip, and found the perfect dinner. Papaya salad and a pineapple shake (total bill 70 baht), now that is what I am talking about! I paid for my trasfer ticket to Krabi, was told to meet at 6:20 am, so headed straight to bed. Bright and early I met up with my taxi bus (seeing the night life stragglers eating soup, or staggering back to their hotels), yep, definately won't be missing this place. The taxi bus took me to a bus that got on a ferry, that got off the ferry and drove to Krabi, total trip time about 4 hours. The ferry was nice, and made me miss home a bit. Though the ferries at home aren't totally open air, and they don't serve lobster flavored chips, or pasteries filled with meat. Most of the travellers on the boat were Israeli (again...how do they have so much holiday?) The bus ride was quite interesting. There were 8 more people than seats, which ment they sat in the ailes, which ment the bus was that much stuffier, but that is one of the adventures of travelling. Just getting off the bus in Krabi was like paradise. The bus station was clean, they had cool bottled water and ice cream, what else could one ask for. A man asked me if I would like to stay on the beach in a bungalow outside of Krabi city? I specified that it must be clean and free of bugs, he assured me yes...and for 400 baht, plus a ride to the bungalow, I was sold. Pine bungalows were perfect, and changed my loss of nostalgia feeling. They were concret, pained white, so had a very crisp clean feel to them. The bed was a bit hard...then again, all thai beds are (sigh, yeah my bed will feel SO good when I get home!). There were a few couples, and a family staying there. Friendly people all full of smiles and hellos. The owner of the place was greatful, and full of pranks anything to make you smile. A few of us sat on the beach soaking up the end of the days rays, and watching the sunset.

Steve, a bloke from the UK, was going into Ao-Nang to pick up laundry, and wanted to know if I needed to go to town. (The bungalow is quite secluded, they had a restaurant...but sometimes it is nice to see a new place). So I hopped on the back of the motorbike, and let the wind dry my hair. It was after night fall (obviously), and the scenery was stimulating. The land is much different down south. Large rock formations, randomly strewn about. At first they were a bit haunting, these large ominous objects, but that feeling slowly changed to intrigue. To see the huts that people call home. Some just plastic walls and hammocks hanging inside. Others Bamboo structures missing walls, and no furniture for that matter...yet theirs shoes were lined up nicely outside. Ah, the lure of other cultures. We arrived in Ao-Nang, once again a large tourist place, but a much different feel than Samui. It is clean and well organized. There are little shop stalls on the streets, but not so many that you feel klosterphobic. There is thai restaurants as well as western ones. Some expensive, some thailand value. There is a bit of everything here, or should I say something for everyone. (Dad, if you were to come to Thailand I would recommend this region as a must for you). Steve really wanted a steak (which isn't served at the resturant at Pine), so we ate at a restaurant in Ao-nang. Steve is quite a character, think pirate, no joke! He was quite animated and spoke with one of his eyes closed and face scrunched to one side much of the time, but good for a laugh and converstation. Woke up to a wonderful bowel of Muslei, hired a car to Ao-nang, said goodbye to the owner (he wiped away fake tears, as I blew him a kiss), and so now here I sit. I need to catch a boat to Railey Beach, where I have booked accomidations for the next two nights. My understanding is that Railey is the perfect place to end your holiday in Thailand (too bad I have to fly back to Bangkok to get home). I plan on doing some (half day) rock climbing...sniffel, goodbye fingernails, and some more relaxing. I will admit that I do feel abit lazy, and look forward to a good workout induced sweat, rather than this humidity induced sweat. Less then a week and I will be back home. Home. Yes I do miss it, and no not just my bed. Believe it or not, I look forward to enjoying a hot shower, and putting on a warm sweater and hearing the sound of the endless rain. Ah, life is grand, either way you look at it.

Ko Samui remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Last days in Ko Phangan

2006-11-10T09:28:44Z

Huh. I do realize that I shouldn't complain about prices, but truth be told, the cheap little bungalow on the beach is quickly loosing its novelty. The huts we (Leia, Kat and I) stayed in the first night were AWEFUL! We paid 600 baht (though Leia and I shared, therefore 300 baht/person which is under 10 dollars). We cast off our heavy packs and went out for dinner and a drink. The next morning, we arranged to meet up in the restaurant of our hut. I had been up for a bit, wandered into town, ate a crepe with Nutella and bananas (30 baht), and lesiurely showed up at out arranged time. Kat stared at me, with a look of a sleepless night written all over her face. She said, "go pack, I gotta get out of here." So we did, we moved over to the resort right next to us. Once again Leia and I shared a room, this one 500 baht and brillant, clean, beautiful...and a ocean side pool to boot! Ah, well...live and learn.
The second night was a quiet one. Something I ate or drank didn't agree with me, and the toliet was my closest companion (thank goodness most were western toliets and not the ever so common squat pot). So needless to say, I spent the say lounging poolside in the sun...yeah, this is vacation.
My last full day in Ko Phangan, sigh. My understanding is that Ko Phangan is normally crammed with drunkin early 20 somethings, but our timing was perfect. Granted there were a few people that fit that discription, but all in all, Haat Rin was quiet and peaceful. Kat convinced me that I must go to the sunrise beach (where they throw the full moon party) for a drink, before I left. So the three of us went and had a Pina Colada. When we arrived it was rather empty. We sat at one of the wooden tablets on the beach, joining a Swedish guy (Michelle) whom Kat had met previously, and one of his friends. Kat disappeared, only to reappear with a couple Dutch guys (yeah...let me tell you I have met HEAPS of Americans on my trip...oh no, wait...only one).

We sat and watched the fire throwers, and the crowd slowly start to grow. Next thing we knew the beach was full of people. All kneeling at little wooden tables, sipping Thai Whiskey out of Buckets. From there we wandered over to a bar that had dancing. So we danced, got hit on by thai women (you know...), were surrounded by Israeli men, dripping in sweat, and pretty darn sober....so in other words, completely entertained! As we climbed the hill back to our "home" we had a good laugh at our last night together. Ah yes, to be young again....nah, to be young at heart, that is all that matters.

Last days in Ko Phangan remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Ko Pha-ngan

2006-11-08T12:02:38Z

So I woke up early, grabbed a bowel of Musli and Yogurt, a cuppa coffee, and then found myself a taxi to the airport (at 40 baht, I was pleasantly surprised). As I sat on the plane I was a bit curious how the rest of my day would play out. I had pre-arranged (and therefore paid for) this flight, a taxi, a ferry ride and a place to stay...but didn't have much in the way of a receipt as proof. When the plane arrived at the wonderful hut style airport in Ko Samui there was a man standing there holding a sign with my name! So he took me to the ferry and from there got my ferry ticket for me, then headed on his way. So far so good, but... I sat there flipping through pamphlets and my lonely planet trying to locate this guesthouse that I had booked, but it was no where to be seen or heard of. As I sat there in the shade, enjoying the view of white beaches and calm waters waiting for the boat, this girl came and sat at my table. Her name is Leaha and is from Sweden. She is spending 5 months in Thailand, and is planning on renting a place two months, so she can write a book! Brillant! When the boat arrived, heaps upon heaps of punk kids got off the boat. Many wearing bandages, or limping in some fashion. Ah, right! The full moon party! All these kids were on the island for the party, and where now leaving! On the boat we met Katherine, a girl from Norway. As we approached port, there was this coma type feeling over the island, everything seemed so peaceful and calm. When the boat reached port, there was no one there holding a sign with my name, which was actually a sigh of relief for me. I was looking forward to sharing a nite with these new girls. We found a bungalow on the beach, dirty and cheap, ah but the view from the beach! Spectacular!! We changed into our suits for a quick dip before the sun went down. We stood in this amazing water, with a fine white sand beneath our feet, and an ever changing sunset leaving a warm glow on our skin. Ah, yes, this has to be paradise. I think I shall stay for longer then a day.

Ko Pha-ngan remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Trekking in the Jungle

2006-11-08T11:26:52Z

Hello my dearly missed friends and family! It was quite the adjustment getting back to Chiang Mai city after weeks of peaceful solitude. The first week of November is a festival in the city, so rooms were over booked, there were bus loads of people coming into town, fireworks and firecrackers going off every few seconds...it was a shock to say the least. The first night back I lie in bed, hearing all of the madness outside, jumping everytime I heard a bang, it was assuring to know that I would be gone for the next three days on a trekking adventure. The trek was nice, and a welcomed escape from the city (again). Our group started with 8 people, plus 2 tour guides. There were four people in thier early 20's from BC (one a massage therapist at Whister....hmmm), then a couple on their honeymoon from Australia, and an older man from Florida. Our guides, Pi (an alcoholic but very kind and harmless, has 2 wives) and Terry (an 18 year old in med school, spoke only a bit of english, but was full of entertainment). Out of the group, 5 were wearing flip flops...yes, on a hike. The jungle was extremely quiet. The only sound was this insanely loud bug. Very few birds, only the nest of monkeys, and too many spiders for my liking. First we took a bamboo raft down a muddy river, but it was plently of fun. Our first night camping was at this massive waterfall. We had home cooked vegetable soup, with rice and chicken. We then sat around the campfire for a bit and told ghost stories and such. The beds were open air huts, with bamboo "mattresses", sleeping bags and bug nets (good thing since there was this wicked spider outside the hut, and according to Pi it is poisonous). The next morning as we sipped our morning cuppa, we all stared blinklessly at the cooking fire, we had maybe gotten 2 hours of sleep..the waterfall was SO loud, and we were all SO cold. After our breakfast of cold toast with jam and fresh pineapple we left for our hike. The Australian couple and the other american went back, they had only paid for one night camping, and the rest of us continued up the mountain, flip flops and all. We stopped at a second smaller waterfall for lunch, were we showered in the falls and ate noodles in the sun. From there we hiked up to the village Panmo. There are about 60 people living in the village, making up a total of 9 families. They make their living by growing rice, and selling us tourists coke, water and such. For dinner we had tofu and vegetables, and some of the villages rice (for a moment I forgot I was camping). The rice was amazing, a bit sticky, brown and hardy...ah, perfect. I had brought with me an apple, that when I bit into it I was far from satisfied. Pi suggested that I give it to Nah, this 6 year old girl standing by his side. As I felt a bit ashamed handing her this half eaten apple, she willing took it with a grin. Apparently is a special treat to get an apple up in the village. Later we sat around the campfire. Terry trying to teach me Thai, Nah drawing me pictures of flowers and such all while wearing my headlamp, Pi drinking his beer, one of the girls getting a thai massage...all while the full moon cast our shadows over the dancecing flames of our fire. The next morning we once again "enjoyed" our breakfast of toast and pineapple, and headed out of the jungle. We stopped for a ride on the elephants, which I found a bit sad. Mine was the only male of the bunch. His name is Soon Chai, and 20 years old...and quite definant just as any young man is. I arrived back in Chiang Mai, and met up with Lorna again. We were to meet for a vegetarian meal, but settled on festival snacks, and went to this quaint restaurant called the Herb Garden that had nice red wine to cap off the evening. The night was quite intense with the noise of the parade, and performances on the stage (all going on at the same time). It is tradition that during the festival you place flowers (and a wish) in the river, or send a wish off with a balloon (something more like floating lantern). It was truely a beautiful site. The sky was full of these make shift stars, as well as fireworks and a mostly full moon. Now, just to get away from all of these people and all of this noise. Uh, yes, I shall leave for the beaches in the morning!

Trekking in the Jungle remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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A Journey by Night

2006-11-08T11:26:25Z

I have to share just a short story about my adventure home from the Wat. I finished my closing ceremony at 7pm( done by an American monk by the way), then quickly changed into civialian clothes, and grabbed my things and headed back to the outside world. Before I had even made it to the gate I had been warned and given many sour faces...the prospect of me catching a bus after 7pm was not possible. They shook their heads, wished me the best, and assumed I would be back for the night. I was determined however, Lorena was expecting me, and I was not about to let her down. Instantly drentched in sweat, heaving my large backpack...I once again felt like an outsider...but there was an excitement in the air. A sharpely dressed Thai man stopped me and asked "Chiang Mai?" I smiled and said yes, he frowned and said....more buses. Go to police station...something about 8pm. Huh, well, maybe there is a bus that runs at 8pm, so I walked toward the Police station. There is a bus stop there, so I have about an hour to spare. It is dark, but a wonderfully warm evening. There are all the steet vendors out selling foods and such. The one right by the bus stop is selling some sweet dessert, so I deside to give it a try. As I take my first bite into the sweetened pineapple and ice, something in my brain stops me....I am chewing, as the guilt quickly washes past me I enjoy my refreshing snack. One of the women at the stand asks me "Chiang Mai?" I smile, kawpdee. She takes me by the hand and brings me to the police station. The next thing I know the police man is on the street waving down cars driving in the direction of Chiang Mai. Sure enough there is a family of four, packed into a quad cab pickup, travelling to Chiang Mai. So I hop in the back, wave good bye ands say thanks to those that have helped me. Dumb founded by what has just happened, I settle into my seat. I find my ipod...ah, music!! It plays songs at random, first it was Jack Johnson....sigh, yep that is good stuff! The wind blowing through my hair, fragrences teasing my nose, the night sky above my head, everything felt just right. Then I noticed a firework go off. A bright white one, much like a slow moving rocket, headed straight at the stars. I watched, and smiled, it was as if it was my farewell. Just then, Nick Drake came on " One of these things First"...from the movie Garden State. You know, the scene where Andrew and Sam are riding on the motorbike, and Mark is in the side car, and there are just crusing. Everything is kind of in slow motion, calm and at ease....JUST like my moment!! I had goose bumps on my arms, how perfect! They drop me off right in front of the guesthouse, only allowing me to share a smile, a thank you and a goodbye (declining the money I offer). I walk up to the gate of the guesthouse, and Lorena is sitting there. I share my story about the uncertaintly of me being there, and this time she smiled. She said "I worried about that for a short momment, but then thought of all the good Karma you have built up the last two weeks, I knew that you would make it here!"

A Journey by Night remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Vipassana Soldier

2006-11-02T08:56:17Z

Well, I am just sitting down to write you, to inform you that YES I am still alive (and well actually), but I sit here blushing because I do not know how to spell my teachers name....In that case we will just call him Aajan. Today is day number 14 here at the monestary if you can believe that! I have been keeping a daily log for you, so you all can see my day to day accounts with me, myself, and meditation. I have encluded the eight buddist precepts that were to be followed while staying here:
1. To refrain from killing living beings.(yes that means spiders)
2. To refrain from stealing, or taking what has not been given.
3. To refrain from any kind of sexual or romantic activity whatsoever.
4. To refrain from false, rude, harmful, or useless speech.
5. To refrain from using alcohol, drugs or intoxicants.
6. To refrain from eating outside of the morning hours. (any time after 12pm)
7. To refrain from distractions and beautification.(jewlery, etc)
8. To refrain from using large and luxurious seats and beds.(yep thats right they want your back side to HURT!)

Just a quick rundown of what vipassana is:
Vipassana Bhavana (Insight Meditation) aims at purification of mind and gaining an insight into the real nature of all phenomena of impermanence, suffering and non-self. (much of the aim of Buddhism)

I have also included the webpage for the wat that may help answer any questions: http://watchomtong.sirimangalo.org/info.htm#cost

DAY 1:
Well I got here late this afternoon. I received my bedding, two changes of clothes, and my room. So far I feel much like an outcast. I arrived wearing ALL black, while everyone else is wearing ALL while (monks in Saffron of course). Shortly after I changed into my appropriate clothing, then went to the meditation center for a quick run down of the begining of vipassana practice. We will be doing mindful prostration (three times), followed by walking meditation, and sitting meditation, each of these are to last 10 minutes (timer in stow). While we meditate we are to focus on walking or sitting, but if we see or hear, or think of something we are to acknowledge it as such (which I will later find difficult). From there we (there was another girl that had just arrived she is from Bangkok and had studied before, so there was no shock factor for her) went to the opening ceremony...much chanting...beautiful to hear but impossible to read. I have cried three times so far today,no apparent reason...just something I am good at.
DAY 2
Early morning meditation is impossible. I sat here and thought: hungry, hungry, hungry. I am to report once daily with my teacher, currently mine is out of the country (he is in Isreal, he has just been granted authority to build a buddist temple there, the first one), so I met with his wife Kate and Sandra (an assisant of sorts, she is training to be a teacher). My time has increased to 15 minutes. There seems to be a constant pain in my knees. I am also having much doubt. I don't know that I will have the ability to stay 12 days.
DAY 3
I have done very little meditation since the sun went down last night. I am trying to avoid pain (my IT band injury is haunting me). I have discovered that my favorite times to meditate are in the morning while the sun is rising (after my much anticipated breakfast), then the last two hours before sunset. Hmmm, I wonder what is like to meditate while it's raining...wait Tara, yu are suppose to be in the moment (thinking, thinking, thinking). I went with a few other Vipassana students today to give alms to the Monks. We went to the village bought some fuit and such, then gave them to the monks. we are to remove out shoes, give them the alms,then bow before them. This is all about Karma. You give the monk a gift, he gives you a blessing (chants it), for you have done something good. From there you can take that blessing for your self, or pass it on..to keep the karma going. For example, I could take my blessing then pass it on (mentally) to a friend that is healing from surgery. I am getting very restless and, dare I say bored (VERY out of my character). I am to be practicing at 20 minutes now, which actually is better. My focus is much better, I make acknowledgement then they dissapear from my conscious. I am starting to see visual images during my sitting meditation, and today I have this ingredible tightness in my throat...which I have been informed are conditions of the practice, and that I need to acknowledge them. My goal is still to last until the 30th, but I am sooooo homesick, and yep I cried again. I feel all of your support, and that helps.
DAY 4
Vipassana is often translated into "Insight" meditation. So when my emotions come to surface, I need to acknowledge them, and realize that it is imperminance...things are constantly changing. I am much craving contact with the outside world...and a hug would be bliss. My meditation is going well, with pain being the most discouraging (I know, acknowledge). I have started itching, it started during my meditation along my hairline and the top of my skull, and my upper lips twitches. I learned that maybe not all rules are to be broken, and that some are in place for a reason. My practice was crap after I left the blog update, and read emails...gave my brain something to work on. I could SO go for a bowel of cereal right now. More rice anyone? My practice has been increased to 20 minutes (so that is a total of 40 minutes per session)
DAY 5
I am less lonely today, and I have found that solitude is good for practice. I can't sleep at night, I itch like crazy. Still, other than pain, hunger is my biggest struggle. Speaking of food, it isn't too bad. Vegetarian or non vegetarian...lots of veggies and rice, but all in all better than bad. I couldn't sleep again, I feel like I have bugs crawling all over me...and my stomach cramps...but everything is impermanent, right? My teacher Aajan is back, which was a welcomed change. He is a bit curt, yet compassionate...a wonderful teacher. He reminds me to be more deliberate, mindful and careful...in each moment, walking, drinking, moving, everything. Oh and also: sleep less, talk less, eat less (is he trying to be funny?) I cried again today at report, Aajan says they are tears of rapture (since I don't know why I cry). He tells me that wisdom comes from three things: learning/teaching (so schooling,parents, etc), thinking (ideas, jobs, discovery), and lastly through meditation (this we will see). He wants me to stay longer, he wants me to complete the full 21 day course, I said I will stay until the 3rd. As I did my prostrations to the buddha,(I am in the land of the Buddha and must follow their rules), I am corrected (this seems to be the trend around here, since I am ignorant to Buddhism and all). I feel a bit sheepish, and he laughs. "that is the past, you can't change of fix it. you are in the present. Live in the moment" (spoken in this broken english) My meditation is now at 25 minutes
DAY 6
In report I learned that all this strange occurances that I am having are part of the practice, and continue to be mindful. I am reporting twice daily now, due to my accelerated plan. My walking steps have changed, and I now have "touching points" while sitting. My practice is now at 30 minutes. I still itch like mad! I once again feel homesick, and would love to have someone to talk to...so this is suffering right? The Buddha says that is life suffering is in all things, even happiness, because happiness is imperminant, as is sadness right? Kinda like when your watching football: One minute the Cougs throw for a first down (happiness), the next minute they trown an interception (sadness, or suffering)...but it is nonself (not something that we can control) So that would mean going to rule number one (right Doug) and F@#$ it!
DAY 7
Aajan told me today to be a good Vipassana soldier, hmmmm.My meditation is up to 40 minutes (that is 80 minutes total per session). My first walking meditation after report and my eyes filled with tears, then they spilled over, running down my face and into my mouth, snot running from my nose like a child. I didn't feel sad, but the tears just poured from me for 40 minutes solid...guess they needed to get out, and that is what i call some serious cleansing. My stitting mediation has brought visions fo bodies, hands, faces w/o eyes (before it was just eyes without faces, and not always human, and not always looking at me), skeltons...and the images are in something similar to a kaleidoscope pattern. Quite disturbing, though I have once again been reasurred that it is part of the practice. I don't itch as much today, but during walking meditation I often tremble. No matter how odd my experiences are Aajan just nods and says good, very good practice and concentration. Huh. And that homesick feeling and doubt that I have had. Also part of the practice.
DAY 8
It is still SO hard to meditate in the morning, SO hungry.I now have 6 steps walking and 12 touching points while sitting. I slept well, no itching. I felt so peaceful and light when I got out of bed. I feel hot like fire while I meditate. I know that it is hot outside, but I feel like my body is the sun, and I am the one emmitting the heat. I have had a headache for two days now. I feel like my meditation has hit a wall. I am tired of seeing the same disturbing images...frustrated, frustrated, frustrated. I have some doubt about my practice and keep "wondering, wondering, wondering" what will come of it. I feel like I would make a lowsy soldier. I was talking to Sandra, she reminded me to not be so hard on myself, and also to acknowledge..which turned my frustration to anger...and from there a good round of meditation. I had 4 points of pain, as if someone was stabbing me with a knife. And it also felt as if someone had placed a helmet on my head, and trying to push me backwards. It feels like they are trying to turn meditation into an obsession or addiction, ugg. Doug is that your monkey on my back? Today is Saturday, I leave on Friday, I can do this!
DAY 9
I lay in bed, it is 3 am and I know that I am suppose to get out of bed. I feel something brush against my arm, which I have raised above my head and on my pillow, I am lying on my belly. I assume the sensation is my hair being blown by the fan. I raise my head, just in time to see a cockroach crawl over the head of my bed!! Yeah, now that will get you out of bed in the morning!!
I am starting to get over the excitement of Thai food, I am sure many of you know I am not a huge rice fan, and here I get it will every meal, yum! A peanut butter sandwich sounds so good right now. Report: no taling to anyone, here are 6 more touching points, practice up to 60 minutes, oh, and by the way, you are moving along quicker then we anticipated, you are about to finish the course...no opportunity for comments or questions. Now what is THAT suppose to mean? I feel neutral today, yet my head is pounding.
DAY 10
Well good morning again Mr. Cockroach, so good to see you 2 inces from my face, while you rest right there on my blanket!!! Ah! Four hours of sleep, maybe less, Aajan is cutting back my sleeping hours (as if they weren't cut back enough). I really want to finish this course so my head will stop pounding, and I can roam free again. Ah, but not yet. Today I received my first exercise. "To REALIZE the truth in the three characteristics: suffering, imperminance, and nonself. No sleeping, no showering, and now leaving your house. You will be doing 1 hours of walking and 1 hours of sitting, followed by a short break, then repeat...for 24 hours. HUH?! I was numb after that. I had no idea this was coming. Most of the day I was in a daze. To "realize." Probably around 11am things started to get really foggy. The toughest hours were from 11-3. I would walk, but couldn't walk staight, and couldn't even see straight for that matter. At one point I was thinkin, huh, I will just crawl...but wait I have no destination, so that won't help me. Suffering? check. Imperminance? check. Nonself? check
DAY 11
Ugg. I was hoping I would be finished (wishing, wishing, wishing), but instead I was given exercise #2. Same as #1, no shower, sleep, or leaving, but this time I was to count unintensional movements....joy. I am not quite sure how this is helping my meditation practice. I am so tired that I stumble when I walk, and my unintensional movements are my jerking when I nod off. There must be an end soon....
DAY 12
My third and final exercise. Yep your quessed it: 24 hours no sleep, no shower (bet you guys don't miss me now), just constant meditation. I was crying, yes again..damn how I wanted sleep, oh and that Hug....Sandra reminds me that I am strong. Aajan simple tells me: no expectations, no worry, no doubt, just think present moment.
DAY 13[/b][/u]
Yeah, yeah!!! I am so happy, so light, and here it is 3:38 pm and I still haven't slept! Aajan told me this morning at report that I looked 10 years younger (please, I look young enough)!! So I am finished. I took 12 days, turned it into 13 and completed the 21 day course. It was so much of a struggle. Not so much what the practice was, but so much with myserf. Seeing my suffering and weakness (doubt), and truely seeing it, feeling it, and knowing it. Understanding that it isn't there forever, things are always changing...and so much of what I bring myself to fight with isn't even in my conrol to begin with, so ultimately I just bring more suffering and pain. There is much more depth to the practice, but this is the ultimate goal, and for me, the ultimate outcome. I accept. (acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge)

So as you can see I am off again, continuing my Thailand experience. I having closing ceremony this evening, where I will no longer be under the 8 precepts (yes dinner!!!!) Damn, I just realized that I am breaking a precept right now, I am "chewing" gum...oh well, I was good while I could. I will take a taxi to Chaing Mai to meet up with Lorena, a wonder girl that I met at the monastery, she is from Austria, speaks wonderful english, and is the ripe age of 22! She also finished the course, and was there for 23 days(?). She is a buddist and has been wanting to do this for sometime, so this was an extremely importing experience for her. She is off the Burma and India after this, for many more expereinces. Anyway, I thought I would spend some time with her before I head south to those sandy beaches! I will be posting a short entry about my last night before leaving for the Monastery, so make sure to look for it (it will be dated in correct happenstance).
Thank you for your acceptance, faith and love.

Vipassana Soldier remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Student of Vipassana

2006-10-24T06:05:15Z

So, I am sure that you are aware that I am breaking a rule or two by writing right now. There are 8 Precepts that I am to abide by while here at Wat Chom Thong, then many other rules that are in my best interest (meditation) to follow, but I just needed to get out.
The Temple is wonderful, to put it in a single word. I arrived and was given a guest room, with a private bath, a mediation mat, two sets of white clothing to wear (must be worn, and are much like pjs), and a rule book. I have been assured that the rules have been in place to better my meditation practice, and I am sure that is true, but some rules just need to be broken.
So let me paint a picture of my day. I wake up at 4am (or I am suppose to) meditate in my dark room until 6am (which convienintly a rooster starts to crow around 5:30 to announce day light), which from there I go to the dinning hall to have breakfast. Breakfast, hmmm. Yes, we are not talking eggs, or pancakes, or cereal even for that matter. We are talking Thai breakfast, so rice and veggies, served one way or another. From there, off to meditate, or wash my yesterdays clothes in a bucket for tommorrow. Then I meet with Kate, my teacher to discuss my meditation, answer any questions, and to give me more guidance. From there off to meditate before lunch, which is served at 11am, and will be my last chewable meal until tomorrow morning. Then, I am off to meditate.
So the question is, "Tara, how is your meditation going? Are you enlightened yet?"
Uh....good days bad days, and nope not yet.
Yesterday proved to be a very hard day for meditation. I was questioning if I will be able to last 2 weeks. But I heard the voices of those that love me, hearing your encouragement and support.
hmm, let me see, how can exlpain what it is that I am doing with my hours every day.
You see, Vipassana is unlike other forms of meditation. I am not just trying to calm the mind, but except the mind. Other meditation is like placing a rock over some grass. Without sun, the grass stops growing and dies. But if you remove the rock, the grass grows again. Vipassana is like a shovel, digging deep to remove the roots so that the grass with never grow.
So far I have three types of meditation. Prostrating, walking and sitting. Prostrating is much easier, because your mind easily focuses on the movement, and therefore isn't easily distracted. Walking meditation is a bit more difficult, but then again, you are moving so it is easy to focus on the movement.
Sitting has proven to be the most difficult (literally, it hurts). So as I meditate a thought may come into my head, and I am to acknowledge it (thinking, thinking, thinking), or my knee may hurt (hurting, hurting, hurting). Most of the time once these are acknowledged they go away, they are imperminant, which is a large focus of the practice.
There is much I have learned, and heaps more to come.
It is difficult to still the mind and the body, though I am finding it far more difficult to still the body then the mind.
So one last note. This is a blog. I want you to communicate with me. Now please for a moment understand that I am in Thailand, where the people speak Thai, not english. So not only do I listen to myself all day, I listen to the Thai speak there language, so really all I hear is myself. So what I am trying to say is, please talk to me. I want to know that you haven't seen the sun in days, or that my house is still standing, or that you are bored of my babble, anything. That is partly why I have been doing this, to stay connected with you, so throw me a bone here!!!! Ok, enough said. I hope all is well. You are in my thoughts, yes, even my meditation thoughs. Wishing you all well, happy and peaceful.

Student of Vipassana remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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To the north I go

2006-10-19T11:04:12Z

Hello all!!! Ah, I can breathe! The air is much less humid, there are FAR fewer people, and I can actually see the sky! I was intending on just leaving a little blurb about my Tuk Tuk ride to Sukhothai, which was brillant, but there is just SO much to tell!

As you know I bailed out of Bangkok, with all smiles and glory, and hoped on a bus to Sukhothai. Without noticing I sat in the seat that suited me rather than the one that I was assigned to. The bus driver politely showed me to my proper seat (please keep in mind that NO english is being spoken here). I then asked for a bathroom, a toilet....without any understanding. I looked around and the entire bus was full of Thai, only I was the one with blue eyes, and a funny language. No worries though (or mai pen rai), it all worked out. On the bus they served us a goody bag complete with a bottle of water, a hamburger bun filled with a sweet bean paste, and a peanut type snack. Through out our travels they served soda in plastic cups, and we stopped and a roadside buffett for dinner. As you can tell, this was one LONG bus ride. As we continuted north the reminants of flooding became apparent. It was beautiful, a stranded tree here and there, nothing else around but meters of water. Homes built on stilts, just barely hoovering above the water.

Once I arrived in Sukhothai it was about 10pm, but the temperate was perfect (though still a bit humid). I caught a ride in a Tuk Tuk to the guesthouse that I had arrangements to stay at. Wait, let me desribe this Tuk Tuk (slightly different then the ones in Bangkok). Imagine a motor bike, but instead of a front wheel, it has been replaced by two wheels and a covered type platform to sit on. Note to self, wear a sportsbra next time. The ride was magnificent! Because of the flooding, parts of the road was covered in water. No more than a couple inches, sometimes less. You could see little minnows tryng to swim accross, though they looked like they were skipping. Dogs would be chasing them, totally oblivious to the Tuk Tuk. Locals were fishing in the flooded ditches, or over bridges. The air was fragrent, with both fish and flowers...(it was much more pleasant then it sounds!) And and a adventure would not be complete without some action. At one point a cochroch appeared out of no where and landed on my shirt...probably at least the size of a kiwi fruit! I arrived safely to the guesthouse, and slept a marvelously until about 6:30am.
Shower, breakfast, and off I went on a rented bicycle. The cost, 20 baht, or about 55 cents for the day! The goal was to leave early before the blistering heat set in, and I thought 7am was grand...come 8:30 I realized I was dead wrong.
I went to the old city, or what use to be the first capital of Thailand. There are many ruines here dating back to the 12th and 13th centuries, though many have been restored over the years.
The first Wat that I came to, Wat Mahathat (royal temple) was spectacular. Around many of the main temples there is a moat, then a brick wall. I hadn't even made it over the bridge to that temple before being totally awestruck. The entrance starts at the south side, and as you weave through you walk around the temple counter clockwise. I was so consumed with taking photos, that the energy of the place didn't hit me until I was on the Northside. I can't put to words the feeling. No sounds, except birds chirping, or fish jumping. The sun was warm on my shoulders, and a large butterfly grazed my hand as it passed by. I stopped. It was as if time stopped. Truely unexlicable! From there my tour of the temples got a bit muddled, by tourist buses, though the bike ride was grand!
I returned to my guest house, covered in sweat. I think I could have rung out my clothes, and it was only 11am! One of the employees of the guest house took one look at me and handed me a towel and pointed me in the direction of the shower! After an iced thai coffee, and green papaya salad for lunch, I was feeling much more revived.

Sukhothai was a huge change of pace from bangkok, and welcomed at that. But I must keep moving, Chiang mai anyone?

To the north I go remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Monkeys, Tigers, and Elephants

2006-10-19T11:02:04Z

As to date, I have only seen an elephant here in Thailand, though I am sure that will change. Doug, I will keep my eyes peeled for your pet monkey!
So I caught the bus, right outside my guesthouse to Chiang Mai. There was 6 other foreign travelers that the bus picked up, maybe a quarter of a kilometer down the road...for them it was standing room only until others departed the bus. Once some people left, Fabian, one from the group filled the empty seat next to me. His group is from France, and will be here for 2 weeks. This bus ride was long, with no toilet or snacks along the way, but at least I had an english speaking companion on my left. When the bus arrived in Chiang Mai I joined the group in a red taxi truck to find a guesthouse. The group includes, Fabian and his girlfriend Sofie, Fredarick and his girlfriend, then Antuan, and another that I cant say that I have ever understood what his name is...though out of the group he speaks the best english. (compements of Stevo, of Jackass, or so I am told). We found a beautiful guesthouse, for 600 baht a night, which is a bit more then I wanted to spend, but still quite reasonable.

Today we rented another red taxi, and went to see Wat Phrathat and a mountain tribe. When we arrived up top, to see the mountain tribe it was still a bit foggy, and therefore comfortably cool. Up the hillside there were stalls all selling handmade goods, from jewelery to clothes, tableclothes made from silk, and spices hand ground. The children ran around in their tribal attire jinglining as the played. The garden was beautiful, oh and the bamboo!!If only I could have you understand how HUGE the canes were around...probably 8 inches in diameter! Everything is so lush, and large...then again, this is considered a jungle.

So here I am in Chiang Mai, preparing for my journey to the monestary tomorrow. It seems that everything is set. My only instructions, show up after 1pm, and make sure to have eaten, for no food will be served until morning. Uh, good thing I wont be physically expending energy, since two meals is all I will be getting in the next 2 weeks. Hmmm, I think ice cream sounds good about now!
Anyway. I don't want to get into too much detail about the trip to come. I will make sure and give you the details once they exist.
Off to get a Thai massage before I take the next big step in this adventure.
Thank you all for your love. It is magnificent! I can feel it, even thousands of miles away. Much love to you in return.

Monkeys, Tigers, and Elephants remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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So THIS is what humidity feels like!

2006-10-17T04:44:30Z

Here I am in Bankok, and like other cities it is pretty much madness, and three times more expensive then anywhere else in the country. Today is Monday, and most people wear yellow to honor their king, it is quite a sight to be seen. If you aren't in air conditioning you are sweating, if your in air conditioning too much you become horse....so why is it that hot countries eat spicey and hot food...you think they would live off of ice cream and chilled drinks?
The language will take me a while to pick up on, but I figure with five weeks I really don't have an excuse not to learn.
I spent the first night with a few americans...I know. But it is a good way to work my way in. Nathan is moving here to go to school, and Caleb, his younger brother, has been here for 6 months going to school, and Diana, their cousin, is visiting for 2 weeks. She came because her mom is the directer of the university where her cousin's are studing. Needless to say, they speak a bit for thai, so I got a few mini (net noi) language sessions.
After they headed off to the University, I met up with Aun. I sat next to her on my flight she is originally from Thailand, as ownes a kindergarden here with her daughter, but currently lives in Whidbey Island.
Now here I sit at Kao San Road, and I am SO over Bangkok. There are so many people, and not just Thai, but german, australian, russian, japanese, and the list goes on. It is known as the backpackers mecka of Bangkok, obviously. I woke up especially early this morning and walked about the city before the rest of the world woke up. It was wonderful. I was headed toward the grand palace, but got side tracked, and ended up wandering a local road that runs paralell to the river. My eyes instantly noticed the numbers of Safron robes. In the early morning Monks look for food offers to take back to the temples. It was wonderful. Men and young boys, with bare feet and shaven heads, all looking quite at peace (as I wipe the sweat from my eyes to get a better look). My breakfast cost me less than a dollar, and my room was about $12 dollars...but there is something in my head that hears 120 baht that says that is too much (though really it is about $3).
I am leaving bangkok today to go to Sukothai, a place up north on my way to Chiang Mai. It is the historical area in Thailand, with many old structures. I look forward to getting away from the annoying Tuk Tuk and taxi drivers, and all of the smog (kinda kills a photograph). I will admit that I climbed on the back of a motorbike yesterday (I know, crazy), but so much fun!
Well off to grab something cold to drink then off to the bus station. Don't worry, all is well.

So THIS is what humidity feels like! remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Packed and Ready to Go

2006-10-14T22:59:27Z

So I would imagine that many of you are questioning my next adventure. Maybe not that I have one, but maybe the location or duration...or possibly even the intension.
The truth is, even if you don't understand me, I think that each of you can relate to the desire and need associated with such an experience. And if not, then I admire you for your strength, confidence and ability to accept the world and life.
Life is beautiful. Everything from the snowcaped mountains to the grace of morning fog hoovering in the valley . The beauty of watching my bamboo grow, or hearing my cat talk to me. Feeling the love and acceptance of a friend, or allowing the gaps between generations disinigrate. Allowing a child to teach you how to see the world, and making the attempt to make the world a smaller place.
What do we all want in life? Love, and to be loved! Yes, there are other desires such as success, money, material goods...but when it comes down to pricless experiences in life it revolves around love.
Love has many different places in our lives. Friends and family are always the most obvious, but what about self love? I feel that so often we are shunned for being selfish, if we are looking after ourselves. I will admit that one of the most valuable things that I have learned in my 29 years, is that personal love and happiness is the first priority. You can't rely on someone else to know what is best for you. And I am sure many of you would counter that I don't know what is right for me.
Touche.
We all have our demons, whether large or small. My largest demon is myself. I have been stuggling to figure out why and how. Is it because of soceity? Or is it personal struggles? Or possibly something else?
My trip to Thailand is not just my first trip to Asia, it is my first true attempt to delve within my soul and spirit. I plan on spending a minumum of two week in a monestary learning and practicing Vipassana, a form of meditation.
I believe that so much of our enviornment forces stress on us, that we forget how to breathe, and LIVE life. This trip is an escape from our driven, successful world. It is a trip to reach self discovery, as well as self disaplin...and ultimately self love.
Meditation allows us to look inward, and to live in the moment. So much of what we do in our daily lives we choose to suppress emotions, or cover them up with other destructive obsessions. This time is to teach me how to break away from that.
This trip is not really a journey to find myself. I know much about who I am and how I work. I am going to immerse myself into my spirt and understand my pain, and my struggles. Accept my weakneses, and hopeful learn to love myself despite them.
I love you all. It is because of your love for me that has allowed me to start this journey of acceptance.
Thank you all. I am hoping you will continue to join me on this journey. Take care. You are all in my thoughts and my heart.

Packed and Ready to Go remains copyright of the author taraobrien, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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